On the latest “My Conscious Dad” radio show on KHTS AM-1220, Santa Clarita life coach Alex Urbina asked his listeners to take the time to consider how they go about playing the “game” of parenting.

“When you dive into the world of discovering how to be a better parent and a more effective parent, you want to operate out of the assumption that your commitment is that of a game,” Urbina explained. “The intention to play a game in all sports or any anything that you’re up to when it comes to a game is to win; that’s the goal of playing a game. So I would hope that your parenting commitment for your kids is to win with your kids and to have them win.”

Santa Clarita Life Coach Alex Urbina

There are a few different ways to approach the “game” of parenthood: playing to win, playing not to lose, just playing or not playing at all.

Sometimes, simply being aware of the way you play by being willing to make an honest self-evaluation can be the first step toward helping your kids win, according to Urbina.

“It’s a challenging thing to look at yourself and really categorize yourself in an honest way,” he said. “I know that all parents want their kids to win, but it just seems that based on results, not all kids are winning, and if you really look, take an honest stock at the parenting styles … there are some things that need to be fine-tuned and need to be adjusted.”

Related: ‘My Conscious Dad’ Radio Show Tackles Parenting Commitments

When Urbina himself first became a parent, he took on what he called the “victim” role and blamed everyone around him– including his kids –when he didn’t see the results he wanted.

“No one taught me how to look at my kids’ results and see it from the perspective of, their results are a direct reflection of my results of my parenting,” he said, recalling how powerless he felt.

With the support of newfound mentors, Urbina was able to change the “filters” he looked at life through, changing his perspective from feeling victimized to that of a powerful consciousness he didn’t know was possible.

In the 20 years since then, Urbina has worked with parents who operate from the same perspective as his former self: placing the blame on their children, spouses and others for their kids’ lack of results.

“She’s not trusting, she’s not opening up, he won’t do this, she won’t do that,” Urbina said, referencing common statements he’s heard from parents during his time as a Santa Clarita life coach. “They’re looking from the perspective of that they have no power, that they can’t change (things).”

To leave this feeling of helplessness behind, parents can take steps to change their perspective by taking responsibility for their role in the situation, which in turn gives them the freedom to change their own outcomes.

“What inspires me is when a parent raises their hand in a discussion and says, ‘You know what, Alex, I haven’t figured out yet how to inspire my kids to want to help out around the house. I’ve yet figured out how to be a certain way so that my son or daughter opens up to me,’” Urbina said. “Those are powerful statements.”

Urbina continued, “But you can only make those statements when you’re operating at a higher level of consciousness, really aware of your own personal power and that you’re willing to take responsibility– that you’ve either created these results; created behaviors in your kids that are creating these results; or that you’ve created the results with your kids. That’s what powerful.”

Santa Clarita life coach Alex Urbina is one of the leading experts on teen, parent and family relationships. Specializing in personal transformation, Urbina has 20 years of experience as a life coach in Santa Clarita. His Life Leadership Training programs are being implemented in schools, youth organizations and transformational centers across the country, helping empower people to realize their full potential. “My Conscious Dad”, hosted by Urbina and his daughter, Jazmine Urbina, helps listeners consider new possibilities they couldn’t see before. The show airs on Fridays at 1 p.m. on KHTS AM-1220.