Filming has begun on the controversial new weekly reality show, set in Santa Clarita and featuring Real Housewives of Santa Clarita, a number of whom have very high profiles in our Valley.

Editor’s note: This article was published as an April Fool’s joke. It is purely satire.

“Controversy, controversy and more controversy that’s what our town has needed for a long time,” stated Jason Crawford, Economic Development and Marketing/Filming Manager for the City of Santa Clarita. “We’ve had a long history of very strong, powerful women who aren’t ashamed of a little controversy. The Housewives producers will not fall short on their promise to further document that tradition.”

Additions to the cast will be announced in the next few weeks, but a number of our Valley’s most prominent “leading ladies” have already inked their contracts.

“This has always been my secret dream,” chimed Vanessa Wilk, wife of State Assemblyman Scott Wilk. “And what better timing than in the middle of Scott’s campaign for State Senator. We just filmed an episode where Scott and I crash a fundraiser for our former opponent, Assembly candidate Christy Smith. That woman has absolutely no sense of humor.”

KHTS owner, Jeri Seratti-Goldman also always imagined being a reality television star. “I’ve been doing my homework, studying these shows for a long, long time. I just love being in front of a camera,” quipped Seratti-Goldman. “Those who know me know I don’t pull any opinions and the rest of the cast is quickly finding that out.”

City Manager, Ken Striplin is extremely worried this may not be a good thing for our City. “I’ve spent a lot of time with most of these leading women and I am very, very concerned.”

Valencia Acura owner, Cheri Fleming signed on just a week ago. “This is going to be a whole lot of fun. At first, Don was totally against it, but when he found out I’d be driving around town in my Acura, he did a quick u-turn. U-turn, get it, that was funny.”

City Councilman Tim Ben Boydston vetoed an opportunity for his wife, Ingrid to participate. “Wow, what a surprise,” chirped Ingrid. “Like this is the first time Tim Ben has ever opposed anything.”

Replacing Boydston is none other than Mayor Bob Kellar’s wife, Kathy. “They needed another feisty blonde and this girl knows how to make the cover of the magazines. We’ve filmed an episode where I host a Tea-Party at our house and the horses get loose and, well, you’ll just have to wait ‘til it hits the screen.

One episode pits Kellar and Seratti-Goldman storming a City Council meeting protesting an initiative for a return to rear-end parking in Old Town Newhall. “We just thought that was wrong,” shared Kellar. “It is pure stupidity,” Seratti-Goldman chimed in. “First Tim-Ben opposes the Laemmle Theater project, now he wants a return to rear-end parking, you’d think he was running for City Council all over again.”

Negotiations are still under way to add City Councilwomen Marsha McLean and Laurene Weste to the cast. “I can’t wait to pull out my dancing shoes,” an excited McLean shared. Weste was a little more reserved, “I’m not so sure I want cameras around when I’m arguing over policy or when I’m in my yard chopping a head off a rattlesnake.”

College of the Canyons Chancellor, Dianne G. Van Hook can’t wait for her first scene to air in September. “I was able to quote Thoreau, Emerson and John Locke, all during one very short speech. I’m so excited, because I’m promised I can quote Edgar Allen Poe extensively for our Halloween episode,” beamed Van Hook.

Mayor Pro-Tem and Candidate for the State Assembly, Dante Acosta couldn’t be happier. “Our Valley hasn’t received this much national attention since former Santa Clarita Mayor, Jill Klajik held pajama parties to find out how her constituents felt about the City a decade ago.” My wife, Carolyn hates to be in the limelight, but she’s thrilled with the filming of the first episode. She gets into an incredible catfight with Kathy Kellar and Vanessa Wilk over whose husband gets to run for State Assembly.

Environmental advocate, Lynne Plambeck not only refused a leading role, she’s already initiated a lawsuit against the show’s producers, citing environmental issues that have absolutely nothing to do with the series.

The Real Housewives of Santa Clarita producers are waiting for former Santa Clarita Mayor and State Assemblyman Cameron Smyth to announce his candidacy for another run at City Council before determining whether Cameron’s wife, Lena will appear in the series. Apparently Smyth’s indecision is being complicated by Lena’s hesitancy to take on a regular role.

Roles are still being determined for the Real Housewives of Santa Clarita. If you are interested in applying, make certain you send in your resume to the producers by no later than April Fool’s Day, 24320 Mad Hatter Drive, Ufellforit, CA.

Editor’s note: This article was published as an April Fool’s joke. It is purely satire.

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