The Compassionate Friends Santa Clarita chapter hosted a candle lighting remembrance ceremony Sunday, where they gathered with parents and family who have lost their children to pay tribute for the 17th year.

As the holidays approach, most people prepare to celebrate with their family, but for those who have suffered a death in the family that celebration is often incomplete, said event organizers.

“Christmas is a hard time for parents to get through the holidays,” said Alice Renolds, a speaker at the event, referring to parents who have lost a child. “So this is one time to honor and remember them.”

This is the 17th annual candle lighting remembrance ceremony, and many of the parents in attendance were still feeling the loss of their child many years later.

“Losing a child is devastating,” parent Diane Briones read from a speech. “But we have all been left with a special gift: our memories.”

These memories should be held and cherished, she said.

“You have a little bit of hope in that you can think about them, and you can a remember a smile that they made, a sound that they made,” said Briones. “My daughter died 20 years ago, but she was 20 years old, so I have 20 years of beautiful memories.”

The crowd in the auditorium of La Mesa Junior High School listened to speeches, songs and poems, and together performed an electric candle lighting in honor of those they have lost.

One performer at the event explained how he connected with the audience, and their recovery from loss.

“I’m in a season of loss, we lost my mother-in-law just about a week ago,” said Aaron Kellim, a guitarist who performed at the event. “So it felt really just amazing to be able to come here, and support the organization, and support these people who have dealt with loss, and even brought some healing to me as well, which was unexpected.”

Briones explained that ceremonies like these are some of the most important steps to recovery.

“If anybody knows of someone that has lost a child, the most important thing you can do is be there, and you don’t have to say a word, just hold their hand, or put an arm around them, or just tell them that you love them, and that you understand,” she said. “The truth is we don’t ever want to forget our child.”

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