A Santa Clarita grief counseling expert is talking about the connection between addiction and grief or loss, and shared her own experience with turning to alcohol after the death of her nephew.
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Sharon Brubaker, a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, recalled that her family members were always social drinkers, but after her nephew was killed in a motorcycle crash in 2015 — her second nephew to pass away — her relationship with alcohol changed.
“My heart was absolutely broken, and (my drinking) catapulted into something that I just couldn’t control anymore,” Brubaker said. “It started out with drinking during the funeral. Then we left the funeral, I came home and I didn’t stop drinking.”
Related: Santa Clarita Grief Counseling Expert: What To Say To Someone Grieving
When she woke up in the morning, she would start drinking, and would continue to do so throughout the day, Brubaker recalled, noting that when her daughters brought it up, she would say she was grieving and needed time.
Then on Thanksgiving weekend in 2016, Brubaker said her addiction “absolutely blew up,” and she reached out for help for the first time.
“I know for a fact that we can reach to whatever we feel is comfortable to mask the pain, and that was my experience with it,” Brubaker said. “What I find a lot is that a lot of people come to Grief Recovery and they don’t realize that they’re either addicts or that they’re using this to mask the pain, … so that’s why I feel it’s so important to make the connection between grief and loss.”
At The Way Out Recovery SCV, an outpatient program for adolescents, adults and their families dealing with substance abuse issues and addictions, one of the goals during recovery is to address the underlying issues as to why people are turning to drugs or alcohol, according to Program Director Bob Sharits.
Sharits noted that many of the people who walk through their doors have been masking the pain of grief and loss for years with drugs or alcohol, and these substances have become their primary tool for dealing with their pain.
“What we’re asking them to do is, we’re going to take away your No. 1 coping skill, and now all this stuff is going to start to bubble up, and we want you to face all the things that you’ve been running away from for the last three years or 20 years or 40 years or whatever without being able to run back to that drug,” Sharits said.
While this can sound intimidating and downright scary, Sharits continued, “How we do that … is we’re going to let those things sort of surface as they surface, and we’re going to hold your hand and we’re going to support you and we’re going to give you as much as you possibly need so that you understand that you can walk through anything.”
Ed. Note: This article is a KHTS Community Spotlight based on a recent radio interview with Sharon Brubaker, a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist.Santa Clarita grief counseling expert Sharon Brubaker has over 11 years of experience as a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. The grief counseling expert specializes in the Grief Recovery Method in Santa Clarita, and offers an 8-week education program that she teaches in person, utilizing her free eBook titled “Grief Recovery.” As a grief counseling expert, Santa Clarita residents dealing with loss or other unfinished business who desire a lasting change can be guided on their journey of pain to find healing in their lives.
Certified Grief Recovery Specialist
27772 Avenue Scott
Valencia, CA 91355
661-212-0720