A Santa Clarita grief counseling expert says that those grieving a loss often use the word “guilt” to describe how they’re feeling, but wants them to understand what the true meaning of guilt is so they can move forward with healing in a healthy way.

“Many people will attach (guilt) to their broken heart because they think that this is what they’re feeling,” explained Sharon Brubaker, a certified Grief Recovery Specialist. “If I didn’t get a chance to say the things I need to say to my loved one, if I didn’t get a chance to do the things I needed to do, I’m going to attach guilt to it.”

However, Brubaker says the definition of guilt is “with an intent to deceive or do harm,” meaning that most of the time, the griever isn’t truly feeling guilt in their heart. Once they realize this, they can look inside themselves to identify what they are truly feeling, and as a result, move forward with healing.

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“(If) that’s not the emotion you’re feeling, let me take that emotion from you,” Brubaker said. “What emotion are you feeling? ‘My heart is absolutely breaking. I’m sad. I feel like I can’t breathe’… That’s the truth.”

Rather than getting stuck in what a griever might identify as guilt, Brubaker suggests looking at whatever was left unresolved after their loss like a heartstring that is being pulled and needs to be healed.

“I call it a heartstring,” she said. “You feel that twinge, it pulls on your heart, it’s connected to your heart. That heartstring needs to be worked on, whatever that is.”

The first step, according to Brubaker, is to admit that the “heartstring” is there and make the decision to go within oneself to work on whatever it is.

“We do the work that’s left unfinished in our heart, that is incomplete communication or incomplete in our heart, so that we can be free,” she said.

Brubaker continued, “It’s not about the other person. We do the work for ourselves. We do the work that’s left unfinished in our heart because we’re the only one that is experiencing that.”

Santa Clarita grief counselor Sharon Brubaker has over 11 years of experience as a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. The grief counseling expert specializes in the Grief Recovery Method in Santa Clarita, and offers an 8-week education program that she teaches in person, utilizing her free eBook titled “Grief Recovery.” As a grief counseling expert, Santa Clarita residents dealing with loss or other unfinished business who desire a lasting change can be guided on their journey of pain to find healing in their lives.

Sharon Brubaker

27772 Avenue Scott

Valencia, CA 91355

661-212-0720

Sharon Brubaker, Valencia

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXQ7yeHAJRE&t=545s

Grief, Santa Clarita Grief Counseling, Grief Counseling, Grief Recovery, Recovery, Sharon Brubaker, Dealing with Loss, Unfinished Business