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Healing From The Las Vegas Shooting: How To Cope With Big Crowds, Being Out In Public

As Santa Clarita survivors focus on healing from the Las Vegas shooting, local experts are offering guidance on how to cope with being out in public again, especially in big crowds.


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Instead of avoiding going out or choosing not to attend concerts or sporting events ever again, Santa Clarita grief counseling expert Sharon Brubaker and life coach Alex Urbina recommend having a plan to help make things easier.

“Make sure you have a plan ahead of time,” Brubaker said. “You might even have a code word (like) ‘fried chicken,” because that’s all you can get out. You say that code word, then the other person knows, ‘Okay, we’re sitting right here (or) we’re going to go back to our car.’”

Related: Las Vegas Shooting Victim Shares Continuing Struggles, Experts Weigh In On Help Available

Being prepared to focus on breathing techniques if anxiety comes back is another key part of planning, according to Brubaker and Urbina.

Santa Clarita survivor Ray Avalos mostly relied on this strategy when he attended the MLB World Series just weeks after the Las Vegas shooting with his wife, Stacy.

“My thing was just remember to breathe,” he said. “We got into a stairwell going to the game and my wife almost had an anxiety attack because of the crowds… I just reminded her just to breathe, just breathe — that’s all you can do.”

Another important part of planning is making the conscious decision to do what Brubaker calls “leaning into” the fear and anxiety instead of trying to fight it.

Erin Acquaviva, another Santa Clarita survivor, compared trying to resist her anxiety to pushing against an immovable object like a table that is secured to the ground.

“If we push against (the table) and we resist it, we’re going to get tired and we’re going to just lose our strength,” she said. “I’m leaning into anxiety right now, and knowing it’s here and just being with it.”

Survivors can also try to find peace knowing that security reforms are now being considered and implemented across the country, including in Santa Clarita, according to Rick Patterson of the law firm Owen, Patterson & Owen in Valencia, who represents many local victims in the ongoing lawsuits related to the shooting.

Patterson noted, “I understand that there’s an ordinance that now is being considered by security personnel, law enforcement — all the experts that the city (of Santa Clarita) can gather to put together an ordinance that will say, ‘We’re going to be more safe. We’re going to be more vigilant and we’re going to do it right in our city.’”

While simply not going to crowded places may seem like an “easier” option in the short-term for survivors like Acquaviva and Avalos, Avalos noted it’s important to carry on with normal life.

“This is a part of our healing and it’s a part of the process that we need to go through,” he said. “I’m determined not to let (the Las Vegas shooting) change me forever. We’re a sports family, we’re concert people, I’m a music person, I just love life. And this one event, I’m not going to let it change who we are.”

Sharon Brubaker is a life coach and Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. She may be reached at 661-212-0720 or sharonbrubaker.com. Alex Urbina is a Santa Clarita life coach who offers personal development coaching in both one-on-one and group settings. He may be reached at (661) 505-5021 or alexurbina.com. Rick Patterson is a founding partner at the Santa Clarita Law Firm of Owen Patterson Owen. He may be reached at (661) 799-3899 or opolaw.com.

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Healing From The Las Vegas Shooting: How To Cope With Big Crowds, Being Out In Public

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About Melissa Lampert-Abramovitch

Melissa Lampert-Abramovitch has been writing for KHTS since Feb. 2014. She currently writes “Community Spotlight” and feature stories, and coordinates all aspects of both the”KHTS Adopt a Pet” video feature series and “Top Things to Do in Santa Clarita.” She is the creator of “KHTS Adopt a Pet” and acted as News Editor from 2019-2020, as well as Features Director and Newsroom Manager from 2016-2018. A former Valley Publications Staff Writer, Melissa was a contributor to the Santa Clarita Gazette and Canyon Country Magazine from 2015-2016. She has published feature stories with Pet Me Magazine, The Pet Press, The Signal, COC's Cougar News, and KJAMS Radio.