Santa Clarita grief counseling expert Sharon Brubaker says one way survivors of the Las Vegas shooting can cope with their traumatic experience is to go back and “complete” areas that are causing them pain.
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What Brubaker described as “the completion process” is dealing with unresolved grief, which over time, can accumulate and negatively impact your life.
“Working through the grief in our heart is different than working through our intellectual emotion that may be incomplete,” Brubaker explained. “That’s a lot of what we do in grief recovery, is look at the areas where you are incomplete and then go back into your heart.”
Related: Healing From The Las Vegas Shooting With Santa Clarita Grief Counseling Expert Sharon Brubaker
When going through the grieving process, some people accept what they are experiencing as their new “normal,” believing life will always remain this way.
Brubaker spoke to teenager Abby Ochoa, who was at the concert the night of the Las Vegas shooting, who said she has trouble sleeping at nights knowing no one is awake to look out for danger.
Through completing the steps of completion, Brubaker believes that Ochoa will be able to get to a place where her troubles sleeping will not be her new normal and she will be able to get to a place where she feels safe enough to go to sleep.
“We find that a lot of people try to live in their new normal, and they think that that new normal is the way that it is supposed to be. It doesn’t have to be that way,” Brubaker said. “We can honestly go back to the way we were before if we walk the steps of completion correctly.”
Parents who are experiencing grief alongside their children are advised by Brubaker to be open about their grief with their children, who will in turn learn how to properly execute the completion process.
“That is how we help our children learn and to walk through the grieving process is to go first — we are honest, we tell them as much as we want them to know,” Brubaker explained. “And honestly how are they going to learn to get through the process if they never see us go through the process?”
By allowing your children to be there with you during the grieving process, “you become their safe place” and the person they go to first, according to Brubaker.
Brubaker encourages others, when dealing with people who are grieving, due to the Las Vegas shooting or for any other reason, to be kind and compassionate and to create a space where the griever can speak freely and know that they are being heard.
“We have to remember as humankind that people died, that people are hurt, there are families that are hurting and there are still a lot of broken hearts out there,” Brubaker said. “Grievers need to be listened to, they need to be heard and they need to be listened to with respect. They simply need a heart with ears.”
Santa Clarita grief counselor Sharon Brubaker has over 11 years of experience as a certified grief recovery specialist. The Santa Clarita grief counseling expert specializes in the Grief Recovery Method, and offers an 8-week education program that she teaches in person, utilizing her free eBook titled “Grief Recovery.” Through grief counseling, Santa Clarita residents who desire a lasting change can be guided on their journey of pain to find healing in their lives.
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