Cary Quashen, founder and CEO of Action Family Counseling, discussed the pressures of the holidays and how parents and families can improve their relationships over the stressful holiday period.
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“Families in Action” hosts Cary Quashen and Michael Dougherty of Henry Mayo sat down Monday to discuss the importance of realistic expectations for families, especially families with troubled teens.
The holidays can bring about a plethora of positive and negative emotions with, hosting family, getting the “right” presents under the tree and visiting other people’s homes.
A few basic reminders for families to consider:
No. 1 Set realistic expectations: If you have depressed teen, don’t expect them to act differently during the holidays.
No. 2 Establish structured activities. “Structure is safety when you really think about it,” Quashen explained
No. 3 Focus on the positive. “It’s so much harder to fight and kids to do something crazy, when people are being nice”
No. 4 Take input from your teens. “We often don’t listen to our children enough,” Quashen said. One statistic worrying to many in the family counseling industry is that on a busy day, an average parent might only spend about 10 minutes in-person, direct contact with his or her child.
No. 5 If your teen is undergoing any sort of therapeutic treatment or counseling, it’s important to keep up the regimen over the holiday break as much as possible.
No. 6 Use any potential holiday spare or down time to evaluate your relationship with your teen.
Part of the process of realistic expectations in dealing with the family in general is understanding what are appropriate boundaries, and having the ability to effectively establish them, said Dougherty.
“People forget that you can just say ‘no,’” Dougherty said, adding that not doing so often causes bigger problems than the alternative.
“If you don’t do it, people are going to get mad at you,” Quashen said, “and if you do (overextend yourself), you’re going to be mad at yourself for what you did.”
Action Family Counseling is a drug rehab Santa Clarita residents and their families can count on. If you find yourself in need of addiction treatment, Santa Clarita’s Action Family Counseling has drug and alcohol residential treatment locations in Santa Clarita, Piru and Bakersfield, as well as intensive drug and alcohol outpatient programs in Santa Clarita, Simi Valley, Ventura, Pasadena and Bakersfield. Founded by addiction expert Cary Quashen, Action Family Counseling supports and reinforces changes in behavior patterns so that adolescents and adults, or clients and their families, can fully indoctrinate the philosophies and principles needed to remain abstinent and stabilized for life.
22722 Soledad Canyon Road
Santa Clarita, CA 91350
Office: 661-297-8691
24-Hour Helpline: 800-367-8336
Great advice Cary, as usual. Hopefully you’ll see this post…only time will tell. I wanted to see if you by chance have a copy of the Families in Crisis video we did so long ago? If you do, could I get a copy of it? I would be glad to pick it up and have a copy made and return it to you. Please let me know if its possible, will you? Love & Hugs forever…
Debi Durkee
Alumni – Action Family Counseling