By Chauncey Telese

Welcome to my first (and hopefully not only) awards piece where I (in conjunction with my friends) will honor the best and worst in film, television, music, sports, and the internet. I’ll avoid a long preamble and just let the categories speak for themselves. So let’s get to it and go to the awards that were handed out at pre-taped ceremony.

Best Internet Podcast: The B.S. Report with Bill Simmons but in a close second The Adam Carolla Podcast.

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Most Annoying Song: “The Dog Days Are Over” Florence + the Machine. All year I figured that this award would clearly go to “Baby” by Justin Bieber but I think at some point I promised my friend Andrew’s girlfriend Sina that I’d lay off the Biebs. Plus, to be fair to that little Canadian kid, Florence + the Machine managed to turn out a song that is god awful on its own but managed to ruin what was otherwise a good episode of “Glee.”

Best/Worst movie to watch in “enhanced” 3D: “Alice in Wonderland”: I have to tiptoe around this one but basically while “Alice in Wonderland” was an awful movie certain people I know have told me that it does serve a purpose. Apparently it looks great when the air is just right. “Tron Legacy” by the way was a close second with “Scott Pilgrim vs the World” coming third.

The L.A. Fitness Award for song that should only be listened to at the gym: “Just Dance” by Lady Gaga. While I loathe Lady Gaga, I must admit that this song does its job. If we need to include songs that came out in 2010 I guess I’d have to give the award to Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream”.

The Blockbuster Video Award for Best Rental: “Broken Lizard’s The Slammin Salmon”. This movie never made it to theaters, which is a bummer because my friends and I can quote “Super Trooper” and “Beerfest” like it was nothing. Their latest effort is comedic anarchy that reaches an almost “Anchorman”-like level.

Alright, now onto the awards handed out at our live ceremony.

The George Carlin Award for Excellence in Stand-up Comedy

• Patton Oswalt: “My Weakness is Strong”
• Nick Swardson: “Seriously, Who Farted?”
• Ricky Gervais: “Out of England 2”
• Kathleen Madigan: “Gone Madigan”
• Louis CK: “Hilarious”

The Winner is: Patton Oswalt

The Bryan Dubar Award for Unintentional Comedy

The Winner is: Jets CB Antonio Cromartie

The Robert Downey Jr. Comeback Player of the Year Award

• Eminem
• Michael Vick
• Michael Keaton

The Winner is: Eminem

The Tatum O’Neal Award for Adult Grade Child Performance

• Chole Grace Moretz: “Kick Ass” and “Let Me In”
• Hailee Stanfield: “True Grit”
• Elle Fanning: “Somewhere”
• Mia Wasikowska: “The Kids Are Alright”
• Kiernan Shipka: “Mad Men”

The Winner is: Hailee Stanfield

The Mel Gibson Award for Career Downward Spiral

• Mel Gibson
• Lindsey Lohan
• Christina Aguilera
• Jesse James
• Megan Fox

The Winner is: Mel Gibson

The I Didn’t Know They Had It In Them Award

• Blake Lively: “The Town”
• Ben Stiller: “Greenberg”
• Mila Kunis: “Black Swan”
• Amy Adams: “The Fighter”
• Michael Vick: 2010 Philadelphia Eagles

The Winner is: Blake Lively

The Lucy and Ricky Award for Best Television Couple

• April and Andy: “Parks and Recreation” Season 2
• Dexter and Lumen: “Dexter” Season 5
• Nucky and Margaret: “Boardwalk Empire” Season 1
• Mitch and Cam: “Modern Family” Season 2
• Bill and Sookie: “True Blood” Season 3

The Winner is: Nucky and Margaret

Best Guest Star

• Gwenyth Paltrow: “Glee”
• Paul Giamatti: “30 Rock”
• Julia Stiles: “Dexter”
• Betty White: “Community”
• Denis O’Hare: “True Blood” Season 3

The Winner is: Denis O’Hare

Most Underrated Show

• “Eastbound and Down”
• “Parenthood”
• “Louie”
• “Parks and Recreation”
• “Treme”

The Winner is: “Parenthood”

The Saturday Night Live Awards

Digital Short of the Year

• “The Curse” (with Jon Hamm)
• “Golden Girls Theme” (with Betty White)
• “James Cameron’s Laser Cats” (with James Cameron and Sigourney Weaver)
• “Shy Ronnie and Clyde” (with Rihanna)
• “Flags of the World”
• The Winner is: “The Curse”

SNL Best Musical Guest

• Vampire Weekend
• Dave Matthews Band
• Arcade Fire
• Bruno Mars
• Paul McCartney

The Winner is: Vampire Weekend

SNL Best Performance by a Musical Guest in a Sketch

• Katy Perry
• Paul McCartney
• Michael Buble
• Dave Mattews
• Jennifer Lopez

The Winner is: Michael Buble

SNL Steve Martin Award for Best Host

• Jon Hamm
• Zach Galifinakis
• Scarlet Johansen
• Betty White
• Anne Hathaway

The Winner is: Jon Hamm

Okay Now for the Final Awards

Michael Jordan Award for Athlete of the Year

• Tom Brady: New England Patriots
• Michael Vick: Philadelphia Eagles
• Kevin Durant: Team USA
• Tim Lincecum: 2010 World Series
• Landon Donnovan: 2010 World Cup

The Winner is: Kevin Durant

Best Screenplay

• Aaron Sorkin: “The Social Network”
• Joel and Ethan Cohen: “True Grit”
• Michael Arndt: “Toy Story 3”
• Christopher Nolan: “Inception”
• Stuart Blumberg and Lisa Cholondenko: “The Kids Are Alright”

The Winner is: Aaron Sorkin

Matt Groening Award for Best Animated Series

• “South Park”
• “Ugly Americans”
• “The Simpsons”
• “Futurama”
• “Family Guy”

The Winner is: “South Park”

Rookie of the Year

• Sam Bradford: 2010 St. Louis Rams
• Jay Pharaoh: “Saturday Night Live”
• “Boardwalk Empire”: Season 1
• “The Walking Dead”: Season 1
• Haille Stanfield: “True Grit”

The Winner is: Jay Pharaoh

The Best Episode of Television All Year

• “Eastbound and Down”: “Chapter 12”
• “Boardwalk Empire”: “Return to Normalcy”
• “Breaking Bad”: “The Fly”
• “Mad Men”: “The Suitcase”
• “Modern Family”: “Family Portrait”
• “Sons of Anarchy”: “NS”
• “Parks and Recreation”: “Summer Catalog”
• “Community”: “Mixology Certification”

The Winner is: “Mad Men”

Most Badass Special Effects

• “Tron Legacy”: Cycle Scene
• “Inception”: The Hallway Scene
• “Iron Man 2”: Monaco Scene
• “Scott Pilgrim V.S. the World”: Guitar Battle
• “The Social Network”: The Winklevoss Twins
• The Winner is: “Inception”

Best Movie

• “Inception”
• “Black Swan”
• “The Social Network”
• “Toy Story 3”
• “The Fighter”

The Winner is: “Toy Story 3”

Most Promising 2011 Trailer

• “Pirates 4”
• “Your Highness”
• “The Green Hornet”
• “Thor”
• “Cowboys and Aliens”

The Winner is: “Cowboys and Aliens”

Humanitarian Award

George Clooney

Pop Culture MVP

James Franco

Thank You for reading I hope I managed to entertain you on some level this year and look forward to doing it again next year. Have a Happy Holiday and a Wonderful New Year.