According to Santa Clarita life coach Alex Urbina, the key to an extraordinary relationship with your child is being present during conversations.

Most people assume that they are present in their relationships, but what that means isn’t nearly as clear. Many times we find ourselves stuck in the routine of going through the motions when talking to our children or other family members in our day-to-day lives.

“Being present is allowing yourself to experience your experiences in real time, what’s happening in the moment,” says Urbina, adding that being a great observer of people and their normal behavior helps in being a present listener.

Related: Santa Clarita Life Coach Alex Urbina: ‘You Can’t Win An Argument’

Today’s society is often much less present in everyday life than they were generations before, and technology has played a large role in the lack of a present mindset in today’s society, according to Urbina.

For example, many people today are more focused on technically capturing events on their phone for social media rather than physically experiencing the event.

Urbina suggests that parents make a conscious effort to be present listeners to their children, and make an effort to actively contribute to the conversation rather than have an automatic response or judgment.

When parents fail to be present listeners to their children, the child may become less inclined to share their thoughts out of fear of having their ideas rejected, Urbina continued.

“We bring our fears into the relationship and we project it on either our kids or onto the subject that we are talking about,” he said.

To be present in the conversation, Urbina stressed it is crucial to not place any pre-existing fears that you may have from your life experiences in conversations with your child.

Parents can let their kids make their own decisions — to an extent — and have their own journey through life, letting them know it is okay to change their minds without projecting your fears onto them.

“Conscious parenting is (about) being hyper aware and hyper observant,” Urbina concluded, “and noticing the little things.”

Santa Clarita life coach Alex Urbina is one of the leading experts on teen, parent and family relationships. Specializing in personal transformation, Urbina has 20 years of experience as a life coach in Santa Clarita. His Life Leadership Training programs are being implemented in schools, youth organizations and transformational centers across the country, helping empower people to realize their full potential. “My Conscious Dad”, hosted by Urbina and his daughter, Jazmine Urbina, helps listeners consider new possibilities they couldn’t see before. The show airs on Fridays at 1 p.m. on KHTS AM-1220.