Santa Clarita Life Coach Alex Urbina is naming three things parents may not realize their kids are learning from them.

“They’re always learning from you, whether it’s consciously or unconsciously, whether they’re learning from you directly or indirectly,” Urbina said. “I want you, as a parent, to just stop for a moment and go, ‘They’re always observing me and they’re always watching me… Then they have to be learning something — good habits, bad habits.’”

#1 – How to be an example.

Urbina noted that children learn how to be an example in their own life based on the example set for them by their parents.

“Children learn more from who you’re being and who you are in your life rather than what you teach them or you’re saying to them,” Urbina said. “They’re watching and observing you and how you partake in your life.”

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For instance, if a child’s mom is chasing her own dreams with passion and courage, the child is more likely to follow that example in their own life than if their mom is “sitting on the sidelines” wishing she could pursue a dream, but telling her child to follow their own, according to Urbina.

“I think unconsciously as parents, we don’t realize that we’re not walking our talk,” he said.

#2 – The power of positive or negative thinking.

Urbina believes that manifesting any results in life starts with thoughts, which can be positive or negative and set the tone for the words and actions that follow.

“If they’re positive thoughts, you’re on the right path,” he said. “If they’re negative thoughts, I’m not going to say right or wrong or good or bad, but if they’re negative thoughts, you’re probably going to go down a path that’s not going to create the result that you intend.”

He continued, “You’re creating and manifesting whatever your thoughts, words and actions are, … so you’re teaching your kids by virtue based on the way that you think.”

#3 – How to work hard or take shortcuts.

Parents can either teach their kids the value of hard work or teach them how to take shortcuts based on their own work ethic and how they live, according to Urbina.

“If you’re choosing to live your life being committed to knowing that it takes hard work to accomplish anything, that has huge value,” Urbina said.

While shortcuts may sometimes be warranted, Urbina cautioned against parents using shortcuts as the primary way they choose to live their life.

“You might not necessarily be teaching your kids how to develop this perseverance inside of them and this mindset that I’ve got to go in and I’ve got to work really hard for and earn the things that I deserve,” he said.

Urbina said he learned the value of hard work by staying with his aunt and uncle for the summer so he could work in their store when he was 16 years old, teaching him how to wake up every morning and make his own breakfast and lunch before heading off for a day of difficult work.

Another way Urbina recommends teaching kids work ethic is by not giving them “everything,” and instead teaching them how to do age-appropriate chores, such as do their own laundry, work on their own car, clean their own room, etc.

“If you give them everything and then you don’t create the opportunity for them to work hard for something, then it’s very easy for them to create a belief that, oh, this is easy — life is easy,” Urbina said. “Then you’re not preparing them for what the real world is going to demand from them.”    

Urbina continued, “I just want to point out, there’s no good, bad, right or wrong, or judgment. It’s just a matter of, are you teaching your kids how to work hard? Are you teaching them how to push through things (and) not quit?”

Ed. Note: This article is a KHTS Community Spotlight based on the latest “The Alex Urbina Radio Show” on KHTS. 

Santa Clarita Life Coach Alex Urbina is one of the leading experts on teen, parent and family relationships. Specializing in personal transformation, Urbina has more than 20 years of experience as a life coach Santa Clarita residents can depend on. His Life Leadership Training programs have been implemented in schools, youth organizations and transformational centers across the country. Urbina is also the author of “The Inspirational Parent: The Magical Ingredients for Effective Parenting” and host of “The Alex Urbina Radio Show: Helping You Reach Your Full Potential” on KHTS, which airs Fridays at noon.

Alex Urbina

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Alex Urbina, Santa Clarita

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Alex Urbina, Santa Clarita Life Coach, Life Coach Santa Clarita, Personal Transformation, Parenting, Parenting Books, The Inspirational Parent