Santa Clarita life coach Alex Urbina provided tips on how to raise emotionally intelligent children during a recent “My Conscious Dad” show on KHTS AM-1220.

Urbina recommends parents think of how their child responds to not getting their way, or how they handle daunting challenges. If their prospective reaction fills you with dread, he continued, you may need to address your child’s emotional intelligence.

“I think that when you really break down emotional intelligence, it boils down to the capacity to be aware and in control of our own expressions, our own emotions and to be able to handle the interpersonal relationships that allows us to be empathetic with other people as well,” said Urbina.

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The foundations of emotional intelligence begin at home and can be heavily influenced by parental interactions, according to Urbina.

“We got the macho dads (and) the moms that are very poised and put their walls up and they don’t show their emotions very well,” he said. “Your emotional chart is going to be designed based on the environment that you live in.”

Urbina encourages parents to step away from their own life experiences and to try to meet their child at whatever emotional level they currently find themselves. For example, something as small as not having a date to a dance can be a huge crisis for someone that doesn’t have 30 years of personal life experience to look back on.

“When you’re being compassionate, you’re sending the message to them that it’s okay to feel how they’re feeling,”  said Urbina. “After all the feelings are felt and they start to calm down, that’s where we start to walk them through the process of acknowledging and recognizing how they feel.”

A tool that can be used to help validate the feelings of others is known as “Feel, Felt, Found.”

This method allows you to share with your child that you understand how they feel, that others have felt the same way, and what people have found or learned at the conclusion of their experience.

“Some of the best parenting comes from not saying anything — just being,” Urbina said. “ Just being that loving compassionate ear for somebody is a thousand times greater when it comes to teaching then thinking you have to have all the right answers.”

Santa Clarita life coach Alex Urbina is one of the leading experts on teen, parent and family relationships. Specializing in personal transformation, Urbina has 20 years of experience as a life coach in Santa Clarita. His Life Leadership Training programs are being implemented in schools, youth organizations and transformational centers across the country, helping empower people to realize their full potential. “My Conscious Dad”, hosted by Urbina and his daughter, Jazmine Urbina, helps listeners consider new possibilities they couldn’t see before. The show airs on Fridays at 12 p.m. on KHTS AM-1220.