Santa Clarita Life Coach Alex Urbina shared 15 things he believes women want from the men in their lives during the latest “The Alex Urbina Radio Show” on KHTS Radio.

“You can never stop learning how to be more effective in your relationships from the (male) perspective,” Urbina said at the start of the show.

The first point Urbina made was a woman doesn’t need her partner to invest all his energy in trying to prove how strong and “manly” he is by trying to appear “macho” all the time.

Related: Santa Clarita Life Coach Alex Urbina Names 3 Things Kids Learn From Their Parents

“I think that every woman has this part of them that they want to feel safe, they want to feel secure, they want to know that their man can take care of them or their family when the time comes,” Urbina said. “But they don’t need you to be puffing out your chest all the time and become that guy.”

One of the problems with taking on this “macho” persona is that it then makes it difficult for the man to take down his walls, become vulnerable and connect with his partner, according to Urbina.

“I believe that most women want that, they want to be in a relationship with someone who can talk about stuff, that can be a space to hear you and to understand you and to feel validated,” he said. “You won’t be able to access that part of you if you’ve got this wall up that you’re this manly man and, ‘I don’t cry.’”

While some women may have been attracted to this type of “manly” man when they were younger, it’s often something they outgrow as they get older and more mature, according to Urbina.

If a woman has found herself growing and evolving away from that throughout her relationship or marriage, but her partner is still stuck in his persona, it can be possible that she has outgrown him in her life, but Urbina believes it’s possible for a couple to grow together instead.

Urbina found himself in a similar situation when he was 23 years old and had what he called an “awakening” that he was disgusted with his “guarded,” “controlling,” “arrogant” self, and he wanted to embark on a journey to discover his “authentic” self instead.

“When I did that I knew inherently, if I go down that path and continue to grow, I’m going to outgrow my wife,” he recalled. “So what I had to do was, I had to get vulnerable enough and have enough conversations with her where I had to enroll her into seeing the value of following her own road of discovery and growth while I go down my road, but we had to be growing together.”

Urbina concluded, “When someone awakens and wants to improve themselves and get better, your partner has to be going along with you, and then the capacity of the person that’s in front has to be a big enough capacity to let this person grow at their pace… It’s a beautiful journey if you can figure out how to get your partner and keep yourself moving forward like that.”

To hear the other 14 things women want from the men in their lives, watch the YouTube video above.

Ed. Note: This article is a KHTS Community Spotlight based on the latest “The Alex Urbina Radio Show” on KHTS. 

Santa Clarita Life Coach Alex Urbina is one of the leading experts on teen, parent and family relationships. Specializing in personal transformation, Urbina has more than 20 years of experience as a life coach Santa Clarita residents can depend on. His Life Leadership Training programs have been implemented in schools, youth organizations and transformational centers across the country. Urbina is also the author of “The Inspirational Parent: The Magical Ingredients for Effective Parenting” and host of “The Alex Urbina Radio Show: Helping You Reach Your Full Potential” on KHTS, which airs Fridays at noon.

Alex Urbina

661-505-5021

alex@alexurbina.com

Alex Urbina, Santa Clarita

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQOI4a1ybSQ

Alex Urbina, Santa Clarita Life Coach, Life Coach Santa Clarita, Personal Transformation, Parenting, Parenting Books, The Inspirational Parent