Most people have probably felt like they’ve “won” an argument or two at some point in their lives, but according to Santa Clarita life coach Alex Urbina, no one can truly win when it comes to an argument.

A lesson Urbina learned from the 1936 book entitled “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” by Dale Carnegie, coming to the conclusion that there can’t be a winner in an argument can be an effective way to master relationships, according to Urbina.

Santa Clarita Life Coach Alex Urbina

“If you think you’ve won an argument, you’ve actually lost,” he explained, “because in an argument… usually we’re looking for a win-lose, meaning the way that I see it, my opinion, is right, and therefore if I’m right, you are wrong. It doesn’t have to be like that.”

Rather than focus on trying to prove the other person wrong, Urbina suggested individuals make an effort to essentially agree to disagree.

“You can actually engage in intelligent conversations where you learn to let other people have their opinion and you have your opinion,” he said.

Related: Santa Clarita Life Coach Alex Urbina: Self-Love Is The Key To Helping Your Kids Build Self-Esteem

This way, both people involved can end the discussion on a positive note, helping create what Urbina called extraordinary relationships.

“Where you can’t create extraordinary relationships is when you see it one way and that’s the only way,” he added, “and then you defend it inside of an argument.”

This doesn’t necessarily mean accepting you’re not always right, but instead opens up the possibility that someone simply doesn’t share your perspective on the matter.

“God gave us all the ability to perceive and interpret and create our own reality through our own perceptions,” Urbina explained. “The way that you experience the world and the way that you give it meaning and create your own reality is unique. The way that you see is not exactly the way that I see it, and it’s never going to be exactly right on.”

He continued, “(Be) open to the possibility that the way that you see it is just the way that you see it, and that other people don’t see it your way. And we’re not supposed to.”

Santa Clarita life coach Alex Urbina is one of the leading experts on teen, parent and family relationships. Specializing in personal transformation, Urbina has 20 years of experience as a life coach in Santa Clarita. His Life Leadership Training programs are being implemented in schools, youth organizations and transformational centers across the country, helping empower people to realize their full potential. “My Conscious Dad”, hosted by Urbina and his daughter, Jazmine Urbina, helps listeners consider new possibilities they couldn’t see before. The show airs on Fridays at 1 p.m. on KHTS AM-1220.