A Santa Clarita relationship coach is talking about avoiding a common mistake people make when setting their relationship intentions and resolutions for the new year: what she calls “getting into need.”

“That’s huge,” said Jessica Hartley, founder of the Legendary Love Program and host of “Thriving Relationships” on KHTS Radio. “The minute that we become desperate or we just really, really need our intention to happen or our partner to do a set of things — whatever it is — the more that we go into need about it, the more that we’re actually blocking it from coming into being.”

The main reason for this is because the intense need for something to happen by one partner can prompt an insincere response from the other person in an effort to meet that need, according to Hartley.

Related: Santa Clarita Relationship Coach: Create The Relationship You Want In 2019

“If there’s any giving or doing that’s happening, it’s because there’s someone that needs it to happen, and it doesn’t come from a genuine place,” she explained. “That is not what you want… We want to create these things from a place that feels open and freely given and given without strings attached.”

Hartley acknowledged that coming from a place of need is easy to do, and noted that as a “determined” person, she herself has fallen into this a number of times in her relationship.

But after “blocking” herself from achieving the intention she “needs,” Hartley recalled the times that she decided to do the opposite and saw results, even if they weren’t what she initially had in mind.

“The minute that we allow ourselves to do the opposite of need, which is really trust and let go of the outcome, that we really open up to it, and I have to say my experience of that has been nothing short of magical,” she said. “Things shift and change and there’s a whole other energy that’s present.”

Hartley concluded, “This is huge, and it’s a simple thing. But it is the hardest thing sometimes to recognize and to take ownership for and to stop yourself in your tracks when you’re doing it.”

Jessica Hartley is a Santa Clarita relationship coach and the founder of the Legendary Love Program, which provides the necessary structure to introduce powerful changes in your relationship with or without the direct participation of both partners. Hartley uses her 10 years of experience to coach couples on how to save their marriage from divorce and learn to thrive in deep connection and strong, lasting love. The relationship coach in Santa Clarita is the host of “Thriving Relationships with Jessica Hartley” every Wednesday at 2 p.m. on KHTS Radio.

Jessica Hartley

The Legendary Love Program

661-347-8473

Connect@JessicaHartley.com

Jessica Hartley, Santa Clarita

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PObx51ON384

Jessica Hartley, Santa Clarita Relationship Coach, Relationship Coach Santa Clarita, Legendary Love Program, Santa Clarita Relationship Counselor, Relationship Counselor Santa Clarita