KHTS Radio Santa Clarita Radio – Santa Clarita News
A Santa Clarita relationship coach is sharing her belief that the “conventional” way many people approach trust in a relationship is actually “a wolf in sheep’s clothing,” and can be more harmful to the relationship than beneficial.
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“The way that we’ve been doing trust generally speaking destroys our relationships, and it creates codependency in our relationships,” said Jessica Hartley, founder of the Legendary Love Program and host of “Thriving Relationships” on KHTS.
Hartley continued that many people view trust as a “guarantee” within the relationship that their partner will be committed and faithful, have their best interests in mind, and follow through on things.
Related: Santa Clarita Relationship Coach To Hold ‘The Sacred Feminine In Love’ Workshop
“This is the idea of trust that we’re buying into,” she said. “What I want to bring up about that is, if you really take an awareness and you look at it, you will see that all of it is based outside of yourself, and so therefore we have no control over it.”
As a result, the partner often unknowingly resorts to “manipulation techniques” and “behaviors” in an effort to ensure their “trust” isn’t broken in the relationship, according to Hartley.
“We need to make sure that it doesn’t get broken, because if it does get broken, then I am not good enough, my partner doesn’t respect me, then I am unhappy, then I am flawed, then our relationship is flawed, then this is a failure, all of these things,” Hartley said. “We’re putting so much weight in something that is not in our control.”
In contrast, Hartley believes that trust can be experienced in a healthy manner in one of two ways: by placing that trust in one’s self and in one’s higher power.
Hartley explained that a person’s “intuition” is inside their own domain, and by paying attention to how it feels, the person can find answers to questions such as: Does this feel like a good path? Does this feel right? Does this feel honoring?
“This is something that I think is a skill that we all have access to and just needs to be developed more,” she said. “It’s dormant in most people because we logically rely on facts that we see or past transgressions or past experiences.”
To learn more from Hartley about cultivating trust in a healthy way, watch the YouTube video above or click here for the full podcast.
Ed. Note: This article is a KHTS Community Spotlight based on the latest “Thriving Relationships” with Jessica Hartley, a Santa Clarita relationship coach.
Jessica Hartley is a Santa Clarita relationship coach and the founder of the Legendary Love Program, which provides the necessary structure to introduce powerful changes in your relationship with or without the direct participation of both partners. Hartley uses her 10 years of experience to coach couples on how to save their marriage from divorce and learn to thrive in deep connection and strong, lasting love. The relationship coach in Santa Clarita is the host of “Thriving Relationships with Jessica Hartley” every Wednesday at 2 p.m. on KHTS Radio.
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Connect@JessicaHartley.com
Jessica Hartley, Santa Clarita
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dv_-QvGDyz4
Jessica Hartley, Santa Clarita Relationship Coach, Relationship Coach Santa Clarita, Legendary Love Program, Santa Clarita Relationship Counselor, Relationship Counselor Santa Clarita
