Kristina de Bree, a Santa Clarita therapist and LFMT, described ways to understand trauma and methods to healthily and helpfully communicate with trauma survivors.

In a recent episode of Eye on the Valley, Santa Clarita Therapist Kristina de Bree described ways to understand and support loved ones who have experienced traumatic life events.

de Bree describes trauma as creating an imbalance in the central nervous system. “So just like if you were driving a car and the wheel alignment of the car is off, it would be like your central nervous system is veering left or veering right.”

Related: Santa Clarita Therapist Discusses Helping Friends In Times Of Crisis

When people who have experienced traumatic events are suddenly reminded of those painful experiences, sometimes their imbalanced central nervous system causes them to conflate the minor problem they’re currently facing with the major trauma they’ve previously encountered.

de Bree uses ants as an allegory for small problems, and bears as an allegory for traumatic events, saying, “If you see someone freaking out about an ant, don’t say, ‘What’s the matter with you; it’s just an ant,’ or, ‘stop being dramatic.’ You want to say, ‘Okay, I know that that seems scary. It’s an ant. I’m here for you. I’m here to protect you.’”

The Santa Clarita therapist further noted that trauma survivors often have a hard time with trying new things or breaking a set schedule.

“Anything that goes outside of the norm is really scary, and that’s because the central nervous system is totally off, that it’s hard to interpret incoming things,” de Bree said.

Trauma survivors may find new or unpredictable situations overwhelming. Going back to the bear analogy, de Bree described a trauma survivor as treating uncertain circumstances with the suspicion that a bear might appear at any minute. “If you think that bears are chasing you all day long that’s going to be scary.”

Therefore, the Santa Clarita therapist suggests helping loved ones who have experienced trauma by allowing them to keep to routines that make them feel safe, and helping them to build stability into their daily lives.

de Bree also stresses the importance of listening to trauma survivors empathetically when they describe their experiences and the emotions those experiences bring to the surface.

“Don’t say ‘at least’ and don’t say ‘but,’” the Santa Clarita therapist advised. “If you are saying those two phrases, you are probably not being empathetic.”

For example, if a loved one says “I’m feeling sad,” de Bree suggests listeners don’t answer by pointing out the good things in that person’s life. Instead, she recommends acknowledging their emotions and offering help with regulating their mood.

“You don’t want to shame them,” de Bree said. Instead, you can offer calming activities. “Let’s take some calm, deep breaths in and out together. Let’s go for a walk. Let’s have a drink of water. Let’s look into some music. Let’s change the subject.”

This kind of support can be vital for those suffering from past trauma. Alongside trauma therapy, a supportive environment can set the stage for real healing.

“There are a lot of things that we have to live with, but trauma is not one of them,” de Bree said. “There are a lot of wonderful options available … that can completely eradicate the effects of trauma.”

For more information on available therapy treatments, de Bree offers a free 15-minute phone consultation to those seeking guidance and resources. Those seeking more information can contact the Santa Clarita therapist through her website or via phone at (661) 513-4857.

Ed. Note: This article is a KHTS Community Spotlight based on a recent radio interview with Kristina de Bree, LMFT in Santa Clarita. 

Santa Clarita therapist Kristina de Bree is a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) who specializes in trauma and grief. As an LMFT in Santa Clarita, de Bree’s mission is to enable those enduring trauma to heal and develop strength and resilience for facing their pain and experiences, shed the shame, and improve their overall quality of life. In addition to being a Santa Clarita LMFT, de Bree is a EMDRIA Certified Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapist and EMDRIA Approved Consultant. Those looking for the best therapist in Santa Clarita or a “therapist near me” can contact de Bree today. 

Kristina de Bree, LMFT
25000 Avenue Stanford
Valencia, CA 91355

(661) 513-4857

Kristina de Bree, LMFT – Valencia

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vSVlVhL8OY

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