Santa Clarita Life Coach Alex Urbina is offering parents advice on how to create a more effective relationship with their teenager.

One of the keys to this is being willing to shift their parenting style from the common childhood default style of a “controlling” parent to that of an “inspiring” parent instead, according to Urbina.

“Your parenting style might still be the same style that it’s been since your child was born, and what I like to call the controlling-style parent,” he said. “When your baby was born, you decided to be their leader. You decided that it was up to you, and your responsibility to manage the outcomes of their life.”

Related: Santa Clarita Life Coach Alex Urbina: How To Avoid Getting ‘Stuck’ On Things

However, Urbina noted that when a child reaches their teenage years, this type of parenting style typically stops working because the teen is starting to realize they have their own voice and can make their own decisions.

Conscious parents are able to recognize this and make the effort to shift their parenting style to support their teen’s development and give them what they need, which Urbina calls the inspiring parent.

“Think of the inspiring parent more like a mentor or a coach,” he said. “Instead of coming with the answers, instead of bringing all of your parenting fears into the relationship, you’re more of a hands-off, more of a space or a stand or a symbol of comfort or trust.”

Urbina compared the inspiring parent to being more like a grandparent figure in the teen’s life, whom the teen can look at as a “powerful, knowledgeable, wide elder” whom they turn to for advice.

Under the guidance of a professional like Urbina, inspiring parents work to “master” their own fears and insecurities so that they can engage with their teens in an empowering way, rather than projecting their fears and insecurities into the relationship.

“I think one of the most challenging pills to swallow as a parent is really looking at themselves and going, ‘Wow, maybe I am that controlling-style parent,’” Urbina said. “And, ‘What would it look like if I embarked on a new journey where I realized that the controlling-style parent is really pushing my kids away from me rather than learning a new style so that I can get them to buy in, so I’m drawing my kids to me?’”

Ed. Note: This article is a KHTS Community Spotlight based on the latest “The Alex Urbina Radio Show” on KHTS. 

Santa Clarita life coach Alex Urbina is one of the leading experts on teen, parent and family relationships. Specializing in personal transformation, Urbina has more than 20 years of experience as a life coach Santa Clarita residents can depend on. His Life Leadership Training programs have been implemented in schools, youth organizations and transformational centers across the country. Urbina is also the author of “The Inspirational Parent: The Magical Ingredients for Effective Parenting” and host of “The Alex Urbina Radio Show: Helping You Reach Your Full Potential” on KHTS, which airs Fridays at noon.

Alex Urbina

661-505-5021

[email protected]

Alex Urbina, Santa Clarita

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FKyumLTzMk&t=92s

Alex Urbina, Santa Clarita Life Coach, Life Coach Santa Clarita, Personal Transformation, Parenting, Parenting Books, The Inspirational Parent