Santa Clarita life coach Alex Urbina explained what it means to be a good listener, and why men often think it is so important in a relationship during the latest “My Conscious Dad” show on KHTS AM-1220.

“Just as much as women love to be heard, men want to be heard too, when it’s their time,” explained Urbina. “When we are opening up finally … it is your turn to listen.”

Urbina noted that men tend to keep everything in, and when they feel the burden has become too heavy and they need to rid themselves of that weight, most of the time what they need is someone to quietly listen.

“That is your moment, ladies, that we need you to really listen … and create that safe space for us to just get it out — no matter how long it takes,” said Urbina.

Related: Santa Clarita Life Coach Alex Urbina: The Mind, Body And Spirit In Parenting

That “safe space” can be created when the listener simply sits and listens to the other person without offering advice or making comments like, “I told you so,” or “If you had done it my way…”

“There are different levels to listening, and when I’m talking and I need to hear myself talk, that is level one,” explained Urbina. “Level two is now an opening for me to be 100 percent open to hear what you have to say, your opinion and your advice.”

Although the advice the listener wants to give may be good advice, Urbina noted it usually will not help if the person is not ready to hear it.

“If you are trying to squeeze all the great advice that you have for me that belongs in level two, and you are trying to squeeze it in level one, I am not hearing you,” he said. “Now I’m defensive and upset because you are not listening to me.”

Urbina advises men and women who feel as if their partners are not providing them with the safe space they desire to explain to them how they feel and what they need from the other person.

“It’s a great opportunity, or an opening, for you to sit down and explain what you need from him,” said Urbina. “You might have to tell him ‘I don’t need you to fix things for me, I just need a sounding board.’”