Santa Clarita Life Coach Alex Urbina is weighing in on the best way he believes parents can own up to their mistakes with their children.

Urbina invited Ray Maldonado, a 29-year-old father of two, to “The Alex Urbina Radio Show” on KHTS to discuss his experiences both as a child and a parent. 

“When I was a kid, my dad, he saw that he made a lot of bad decisions in his life, and he told us … don’t be like him,” Maldonado shared. “Even though he was a great father in my opinion and he strived for the best, when he put that into me, I felt that he disarmed himself in who I should look up to.”

Related: Santa Clarita Life Coach Alex Urbina: Emotional Honesty

Instead of looking to his father for guidance in his life, Maldonado noted that he and his siblings looked to other people around them as a result, feeling that their father would be stuck in his mistakes “forever” instead of “striving to do better in life.”

Urbina pointed out that there is value in parents owning up to their mistakes with their children, but that there needs to be what he called “course correction” involved. 

“If you’re revealing, ‘Hey son, hey daughter, these are the mistakes I made and if you go down that road you could potentially make those same mistakes. However, I’m going to keep doing that,’ then you’re not really course correcting,” Urbina explained. “There’s no merit to your advice. It holds no weight.” 

Urbina gave an example of a parent telling their child that they shouldn’t drink because it caused problems in their own life, and then continuing to drink without making any effort to stop. 

“If you’re giving the advice as a mom or a dad and sharing, ‘I made these mistakes. Hey son or daughter, don’t go down that road,’ you also have to be modeling the course correction along with it,” Urbina said. 

Speaking to Maldonado, Urbina continued, “I think what happened was, there was some credibility that was lost with your dad because he was telling you what not to do, but yet he wasn’t making the changes along with it. I think had he had made the chances, you would have went, ‘Oh ok, I now honor and respect my dad being honest with me and sharing and revealing that stuff, but he’s also modeling how he course corrected it as well.’” 

Maldonado agreed with Urbina, noting that he believes all individuals have the choice to grow, or the choice not to.

“Even if you don’t know how to change, there’s resources, there’s ways (of) learning how to change,” Maldonado said. “If you’re not doing that, you’re setting yourself short, and when you have kids, you’re giving them the short end of the stick as well.”

Ed. Note: This article is a KHTS Community Spotlight based on the latest “The Alex Urbina Radio Show” on KHTS. 

Santa Clarita Life Coach Alex Urbina is one of the leading experts on teen, parent and family relationships. Specializing in personal transformation, Urbina has more than 20 years of experience as a life coach Santa Clarita residents can depend on. His Life Leadership Training programs have been implemented in schools, youth organizations and transformational centers across the country. Urbina is also the author of “The Inspirational Parent: The Magical Ingredients for Effective Parenting” and host of “The Alex Urbina Radio Show: Helping You Reach Your Full Potential” on KHTS, which airs Fridays at noon.

Alex Urbina

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Alex Urbina, Santa Clarita

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Alex Urbina, Santa Clarita Life Coach, Life Coach Santa Clarita, Personal Transformation, Parenting, Parenting Books, The Inspirational Parent