A Santa Clarita grief counseling expert is talking about the importance of self-care and planning during the holiday season for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one.

“We’re all ‘supposed to’ be so happy, but sometimes we’re the miserable one in the room,” said Sharon Brubaker, a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. “We don’t feel that that (family gathering) is a safe place to share it, or that’s the time to share, so we go in just pushing back against it.”

Instead of resisting the holidays, Brubaker advised going into them with a plan that has self-care in mind.

Related: Santa Clarita Grief Counseling Expert: How To Handle The Holidays Without Your Loved One

Sandi Atmore, also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, noted that an important part of the plan is to let go of “those expectations that I have to be happy, that I have to be joyful.”

Brubaker added that it’s also important for someone who is grieving to be very clear on both what they want and don’t want during the holiday season.

“You need to share it with your family,” she said. “If you say you don’t want to do what we’ve done for the last 20 years, they need to be okay with not going to the parade or not going to look at the Christmas lights.”

One of Brubaker’s clients, a man whose wife recently passed away, had told her that he did not want to put up the Christmas tree this year, but felt pressure to.

“It was absolutely something that he would do with her every year and it was her thing, and he absolutely doesn’t want to put the tree up,” Brubaker said. “And so I said, ‘That’s okay. Do you realize that’s okay?’”

When Brubaker talked through a few alternatives with him, the man decided to put a small tree on the table behind his couch in remembrance of his wife, and to get an engraved ornament in her honor.

“He’s creating a new tradition for himself, which I think is amazing,” Brubaker said. “It’s absolutely okay to not do what you’ve always done… You have to have self-care during the holidays.”

Santa Clarita grief counseling expert Sharon Brubaker has over 11 years of experience as a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. The grief counseling expert specializes in the Grief Recovery Method in Santa Clarita, and offers an 8-week education program that she teaches in person, utilizing her free eBook titled “Grief Recovery.” As a grief counseling expert, Santa Clarita residents dealing with loss or other unfinished business who desire a lasting change can be guided on their journey of pain to find healing in their lives.

Sharon Brubaker

Certified Grief Recovery Specialist

27772 Avenue Scott

Valencia, CA 91355

661-212-0720

Sharon Brubaker, Valencia

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-CR_IrFUn0

Grief, Santa Clarita Grief Counseling, Grief Counseling, Grief Recovery, Recovery, Sharon Brubaker, Dealing with Loss, Unfinished Business