Santa Clarita Life Coach Alex Urbina is opening up a discussion about the different ways parents can acknowledge their kids and any concerns they might bring up.

Urbina began “The Alex Urbina Radio Show” on KHTS by addressing divorced parents in particular, but the conversation seemed to broaden to include all parents willing to take a conscious look at their parenting skills and grow as a result. 

If a child brings a concern to one or both parents, Urbina advised viewing the conversation as a moment “where time just stops.”

Related: Santa Clarita Life Coach Alex Urbina: Parenting ‘Difficult’ Teenagers

“That is a rare moment that kids in today’s world come to you or turn to you because they have a concern, so you have to really make that moment special,” he said. “You’ve got to stop everything you’re doing. Get off your phone, get off Facebook, get off whatever you’re doing, paying bills — stop.” 

Urbina stressed the importance of not only acknowledging that the child has a concern, but acknowledging that the concern is valid before jumping into giving advice or trying to “fix” it.

“We automatically go immediately into trying to give them a solution or come up with a problem solving technique or give them advice, rather than just going, ‘You know what? I feel your concern. Your concern is valid. I see how you see it like that, and you know what? I’m so sorry that you feel like that… I’m so glad you brought that up. That’s normal, that’s natural and thank you for sharing that with me,’” Urbina explained.   

Responding in this way validates that the concern is real to the child, even if it may seem like it isn’t real or as important to the parent, according to Urbina. 

In addition to acknowledging the child’s concern, Urbina pointed out the importance of acknowledging the child as a person.

“‘You have to be really aware of not only acknowledging their concerns, but you also have to acknowledge them as human beings too,” Urbina said. “‘Hey son, I’m so proud of you for having the courage to ask me this question or share this with me.’ (Or) ‘You’re such an amazing young lady, such a courageous, powerful young lady. It brings me joy to know that you live your life courageously like that, that you’re willing to have these deep conversations, that you’re not afraid to engage in these conversations with me.’”  

Another way parents can acknowledge their children is through their eyes, according to Urbina, who noted that simply making eye contact for a few seconds longer than normal can be a powerful way to communicate with a child without words. 

“Every parent has those endearing eyes. When you’re looking at them, you’re looking at them like they’re the most beautiful human being on the plant. You’re looking at them like they can do no wrong,” Urbina said. “Our most powerful tool is in our eyes, and if we use them intently, without saying anything, our kids know how truly extraordinary they are, that they are loved.” 

Ed. Note: This article is a KHTS Community Spotlight based on the latest “The Alex Urbina Radio Show” on KHTS. 

Santa Clarita Life Coach Alex Urbina is one of the leading experts on teen, parent and family relationships. Specializing in personal transformation, Urbina has more than 20 years of experience as a life coach Santa Clarita residents can depend on. His Life Leadership Training programs have been implemented in schools, youth organizations and transformational centers across the country. Urbina is also the author of “The Inspirational Parent: The Magical Ingredients for Effective Parenting” and host of “The Alex Urbina Radio Show: Helping You Reach Your Full Potential” on KHTS, which airs Fridays at noon.

Alex Urbina

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alex@alexurbina.com

Alex Urbina, Santa Clarita

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Alex Urbina, Santa Clarita Life Coach, Life Coach Santa Clarita, Personal Transformation, Parenting, Parenting Books, The Inspirational Parent